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South Park: Band in China (2019)
These guys don't mess around
A fantastic episode calling out China for all it's human rights violations and generally selling it's people out for profit over everything.
How a country can treat people like it does and get away with it is unreal. It does so many things wrong and practically nothing right. I will never visit it
This episode calls out Disney in a big way at it's about time. The selling out of Marvel and Star Wars for money is a travesty especially when you think about how much love and attention went into drawing those comics or making the first movies.
South Park rules and I'm glad they got banned. I feel sorrow for people living in China being exploited for profit then for those profits to be used to buy up the world's resources in poor desperate countrys. Gold, diamonds, bitcoin, jobs are iall going east and all we care about what the next phone will be.
Hong Kong is fighting a losing battle and China will never see a revolution while it's permanent president is in power.
Hobbs and Sh**
Wow they made a terminator half android bad guy who is very hard to kill. It makes sense, Statham and The Rock need a tough adversary so why not make him a robot thingy killer. Have Idris play him. So far so good.
Now make Statham and Rock totally unhurtable too. As Daffy Duck would say 'Whoops'. Why do modern action films do this, I haven't seen new Rambo yet but I wouldn't be surprised if that is the same. These 'human' good guys can take a punch and survive explosions as well as any terminator John wick and it's ruined the whole film.
There is zero tension here too. Zilch, nothing. Action films slowly build tension until we get to the big finale. Look at the best action movies, Total Recall, Commando, RoboCop, Die Hard, Raid, Lethal Weapon, Predator, Oldboy, Under Siege, Bad Boys etc etc. The tension builds from the back and it gets harder and harder for the heroes until it all explodes at the end. Not in modern action movies. Nowadays action is something that just happens between dialog. Boring.
The stunts are crazy and the human heroes can out jump and out drive any super charged android and the plot is ripped from Avengers with the bad guy wanting to wipe out and rebuild mankind. Are these screenwriters trying to tell us something not very subtly.
Anyway. Watch this film. Put your brain on hold (you should never put your brain on hold) and enjoy.
If you like it then you deserve it or you're 10 years old.
The Irishman (2019)
Gangster Avengers born for Netflix
This film is super long. Too long to sit in the cinema for as fantastic as it looks. I ran out of snacks, I was so gripped I didn't go to the toilet which meant my bladder was bursting only adding to the tension.
This is pretty much the Avengers of the gangster movies where all of your favourite people are in one film written by the best writer and directed by the best director. Only Walken and Woods are missing.
Making de niro young kind of works and isn't as distracting as I thought and Pacino is fantastic. If you expect Pesci to be the nutjob he was in the other Scorsese movies then think again and this is no bad thing. Pesci is one of the best actors alive with a fantastic range and this movie proves it.
The Irishman is lovely to look at but for god sakes take a leak before you go or wait for its Netflix debut where you can watch it with whiskey and pause it for comfort breaks.
Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Hmmmm are Marvel films getting a little tedious. It's a question that keeps me awake at night. I walk to the bus thinking it and I sit on the toilet thinking it. Am I getting superhero fatigue? Probably. I am pretty old after all.
Marvel's final Spider hyphen man film was a thoroughly entertaining movie though I must say. Sure the cast look nowhere the 16 year olds they are playing and sure the effects are getting a bit samey but Jake is here and he adds a lot of class.
The plot has a great twist and the way the movie carries on from Endgame is done very well but then it should be. Hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of man hours means everything is going to be tight and polished and it doesn't even pander to the East Asian market like most modern blockbusters.
Give it a whirl if you like this sort of thing. Blah blah blah.
The creator of this co-wrote Veep, The thick of it and Four lions and if you like those (I love them) then Succession is totally for you.
Basically it takes all the nastiness of the above four and turns it up a notch proper HBO style. Line after line of put downs and nastiness and total effing entertainment I tell you.
The acting is superb with Brian Cox having a ball in a role with real meat on the bones. I have to say that the whole cast look like they are having a great time and it's a superb ensemble.
So as I said before, if you like sarcastic dialog and witty put downs and nasty people being nasty to each other then enjoy this show.
Dark Phoenix (2019)
Now I'm not an X men fanboy so all the different movies didn't really bother me and I found them all pretty entertaining even the last mad one.
This film on the other hand put me right to sleep. I've complained in my previous reviews that Hollywood blockbusters are all pretty much terrible and I should give up but I still persist. I have an abusive relationship with them.
Dark Phoenix looks cheap. The green screen backdrops look green screen, accents waver, the action is boring, the plot is dull, the actors look half asleep and the whole effing car crash hinges around Sophie Turner's performance which in a nutshell, is wonky. Her acting is pretty bad and her accent is pretty bad but then the whole flipping movie is pretty bad. No wonder Jennifer Lawrence goes AWOL.
Give it a miss. In fact give every movie made this year a miss.
Hotel Mumbai (2018)
Unfortunately really entertaining
I know that you shouldn't find real tragedy entertaining but if they keep packaging it like this with lots of gunfire, explosions, loud tense music, obvious bad guys and obvious good guys, then what can I do?
Our whole lives as moviegoers we have been getting entertained by real death and mayhem movies. I had a friend who used to use the Saving Private Ryan beach opening as a demo for his home theater system. 'Listen to the explosions!' he'd cry. United 93 was dramatic as hell and I cried at the end but was also excited by it.
Hotel Mumbai is entertaining as hell and sad as hell but soooo goddam entertaining. It's like Die Hard without a Hollywood hero.
Enjoy it because as soon as you turn a real life event into a high budget movie it's message is lost and it's just my Friday night disposable movie fodder. :(
John Wick 3 now this
What a cast! All of my favourite movie and TV stars in a monster movie! Then it all went down the toilet.
I'll tell you what happened here. The brilliant first movie didn't show the monster enough so Xbox and PS4 players complained. 'Where is the monster' they cried. 'I'm used to instant gratification' they squealed. I know I am being hard on gamers and I'm pretty scared about being swatted but wtf happened to this film. The execs must have screamed at the director to show all the monsters in one go and they cra4pped out this mess.
A total waste of cast and money in a weird film where the main cast all are blessed with John Wicks terminatoriness. They can jump out of choppers and run away from laser blasting three headed dragons pretty easily. All the others are monster meat.
I dunno why I bother with blockbusters anymore... or sequels.
Got switched off after 30 minutes.
This is one weird film. When it started I wondered why I liked John Wick but after 10 minutes and a fight in the library I thought 'ahhhh this is why'. Then after the second fight with knives then a third in the stables before any semblance of a plot I thought 'okay this is stupid now, I can't take another 90 minutes of inconsequential fighting and murdering in some pretentious no police hit man world'. Off it went.
The John Wick trilogy seems to be mirroring the Matrix trilogy. A brilliant first entry, a decent second one then a wtf third. The whole essence of John Wick is gone and has been replaced with some sort of Terminator Wick.
So off it went and Godzilla King of Monsters went on and 20 minutes later that was off and we watched Okja on Netflix instead.
5 stars for the top creative murdering action.