Sheldon Cooper : Leonard! Leonard!
Leonard Hofstadter : What?
Sheldon Cooper : You realize you and I could become brothers?
Leonard Hofstadter : We're not going to be brothers; we're not going to be step-brothers. Go to sleep.
Sheldon Cooper : I hope you're right, 'cause a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.
Leonard Hofstadter : Go to sleep.
Sheldon Cooper : OK.
Sheldon Cooper : You think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard Hofstadter : No.
Sheldon Cooper : Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny Hofstadter : Your parents are old; anything unspeakable was finished by .9:30. Go to sleep.
Sheldon Cooper : Very well.
Leonard Hofstadter : [quietly to Penny] I'm sorry if this stuff is going to make the ceremony awkward.
Penny Hofstadter : Ah, I thought my brother fresh out of jail was going to make everyone uncomfortable, but now this...
Sheldon Cooper : Hey, if you want me to sleep, you're going to have to stop talking.
Sheldon Cooper : So did you defile my mother or not?
Mary Cooper : Sheldon! You're bein' rude!
Dr. Alfred Hofstadter : If I may, I can assure you your mother and I did nothing more than share a cab and a conversation.
Sheldon Cooper : Did that conversation include the phrase 'your genitals are a joy to behold'?
Mary Cooper : That's enough!
Dr. Alfred Hofstadter : Look, I promise you neither I nor anyone has ever said that;
Leonard Hofstadter : You don't know his girlfriend very well.
Sheldon Cooper : Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.